Author’s Blog

So, not to preach …. Well, okay, we can call it that.  But, let’s start with a guessing game because that’s always fun!!  National Hot Dog day? … Nope.  National BBQ day? … Nope, guess again.  National Celebrate Summer By Going Out of Town and Getting Stuck In Traffic for Three Hours day? … NO!

Today is Memorial Day.  Many don’t know exactly how to approach the day.  It has become a day of celebration and in a way that’s okay, but only in ‘A’ way and I’ll get to that.  Countless men and women have died to ensure that when you wake up each day in our glorious country you can freely enjoy many blessings, some you may not even realize you have.  We set aside one day out of the year to honor the soldiers who have fought and died for us and today is that day.  Celebration in their honor is appropriate.  So, have a BBQ, enjoy the poolside, but as you are taking in the day off of work or school, please take time to reflect on the many that laid down their lives so that you could do that.  They would want us to enjoy the day!

I wrote the poem below in memory of those who fought and died so bravely – the fathers, mothers, brothers, and sisters who lost their most precious right – their right to life – for you and for me.  May their souls rest in peace and their memory live on forever.  HOOAH!

~ Lines of Many ~

In lines of green and brown, grays and blues
all colors of honor, concealing hues,
have stood the many facing expectant dawn,
for freedom, family, or values, ready weapons drawn.

Into chaos, into hell, those lines of shades have gone,
before so ready, then so weary before the worst is done.
Yet, driving on, pressing on until the lines are broken,
till colors are muted, lines red and a hush o’r takes the din.

In lines of bright and cold, stark white
lie the honored colors, concealed from sight,
stand the many and face each rising sun,
reminding that for all, have fallen daughter and son.

Into valor, into glory the lines of souls have gone,
before so weary, now in peace for the worst is done.
Sod is driven, stone impressed, forming the lines of white.
Bold colors fly, lines of red, hailing those lines of white.

 ~By E.A. Henson

There were tons of really clever local sayings/phrases to choose from!  The challenge began with this post where I asked everyone to send me phrases they find odd, fascinating, or, well, disturbing.  My followers from ‘across the pond’ sent in some of the best but my American neighbors didn’t disappoint either.

In the end, I had to choose only a handful and here they are.  Enjoy!

@stuartkenyon81 :  In Manchester, UK: Mint = good, Bobbins = bad, Cock = term of endearment, Minging = horrible

@JennaKernan : “How you fixed for spit?” My father’s favorite used after a person has asked repeatedly for things that they themselves should provide. For example: “Can I borrow a saw?” “Do you have a piece of wood?” “Can I use that pencil?”  “How you fixed for spit?” would be the appropriate reply.

@duanenicol : There are a few idiomatic expressions that always leave me wondering (not to mention uncomfortable):
1. There’s more than one way to skin a cat…(why is there even ONE way?)
2. Kill two birds with one stone…
3. You could swing a dead cat (rat) in here without hitting…..
4. I don’t want to beat a dead horse here, but… (then don’t!!)
And there are so many more like this. I’m sure there are other ways to express these ideas without this morbid obsession with dead animals.

Okay, this was my favorite.  It sounds so wrong but is totally innocent.  I really think I might start using the phrase. 😉

mjwrightnz.wordpress.com : Some of my favourite idiomatic phrases, here in New Zealand, reflect local subculture – and ‘sucked the big kumara’ has to be one of the best. It has nothing to do with sweet potatoes and actually means ‘that rather complex thing you tried to do just failed’.

Thank you to all my awesome followers who participated.  Your submissions were truly entertaining!

Unique phrases rock!  Share any you thought of in the comments below.

People have shared some hilarious, awkward, and strikingly accurate phrases on my Strange Phrases post. I am compiling a list of the the best colloquialisms! Let’s share more!

Think of your favorite phrase (or one you love to hate), post it in the comments, and don’t forget to explain it’s meaning.  The best are always the ones local to you, e.g.-Southern, Eastern, Irish, etc. Feel free to invite others to participate too!

After I have compiled the best of the best, I will share them in an awesome post for all to see.

Thanks for participating!

(A colloquialism is a word or phrase that is not formal or literary, typically one used in ordinary or familiar conversation)

There are three sayings off the top of my head (oops, that’s another one) that seem strange or highly false to me.  Here goes:

1. “Ahh, I slept like a baby last night!” – So, you awoke every few hours because you were hungry and then, having realized your discomfort, decided you needed to awaken the rest of humanity?  Hm, I’m sorry you slept so badly … and I’m sorry for anyone who lives with you.

2. “Can I pick your brain?” – No, Hannibal!  Get away from me!  I mean, where did that phrase even come from!?!  Gross – just gross.

3. Sorry for this one but it must be said: All the phrases having to do with … well, throwing up.  I refuse to go into them here.  REFUSE!  I mean, we’ve all been there and it ain’t pretty.  No matter who you are, how sophisticated, good looking, intelligent, etc., you’ve lost the contents of your stomach through the opposite route they were meant to take.  Why don’t we have a nicer way of referring to this deplorable state instead of descriptions that make the hearer that much more likely to loose it themselves?

Phrases usually have interesting origins and are often regional.  They sure make our language unique.  While some phrases are downright mind boggling, others are perfectly apt to the situation.

What are sayings that strike you as odd, false, or just plain wrong?  Please share in the fun in the comments.

Tessa Collins and the Jaded Jewel Thief is available on Amazon in hard copy and kindle eBook!  Spread the word to middle grade readers you know.

The excitement continues in the Tessa Collins mystery series.  A refreshing story for readers, Tessa’s adventures are sure page turners.  E.A. Henson’s cast of characters come alive as the reader plunges into Tessa’s world.  A spunky sidekick and best friend, a family bonded strongly after loss, and a not-so-willing but helpful older cousin make their way across the stage of the town of Hayward.

This time the fun continues in E.A. Henson’s newest novelette:

Tessa Collins and the Jaded Jewel Thief

An expert jewel thief has repeatedly struck in the neighboring county and authorities are on alert. When her local shop is targeted, Tessa Collins, teenage sleuth, is on the case. This time she has a hunch who is behind the robbery but no one believes her. To prove her theory and catch the thief red handed, Tessa decides to set some bait.

Keeping secrets from her best friend, pairing up with a complicated ally, and keeping her father, the town’s sheriff, out of the loop become Tessa’s uncomfortable new norm.

With no one to turn to for help, will Tessa’s bait lead the thief right to her? Join Tessa as she tries to stay a step ahead of a determined thief. She may soon discover that things don’t always go according to plan.

The timeless and beloved author, Dr. Seuss will release a new book this July. Here’s a great write up by Amanda Nelson about the exciting scoop.

Having grown up on the works of Dr. Seuss, I’m pretty psyched about the news! And To Think That I Saw It On Mulberry Street and Green Eggs and Ham are by far my favorite Dr. Seuss stories.

Please share yours in the comments below. I’d LOVE to hear which ones you grew up on.

Couldn’t resist …. 😉

Tessa Collins and The Small Town Thief is now available in HARD COPY here!

It is one thing to self-publish your book as an eReader, but seeing your book in the ‘flesh’ brings your hard work into a new realm of reality is truly is a dream come true!  I have so many people to thank for their help, prayers, and support.

A side note: Never undervalue a self-published author.  I used to.  When I heard someone had self-published, I would think, “What’s wrong with them?”  Self-published authors are sometimes placed into certain categories by people.  The Indie authors are either thought of as some kind of stubborn do-it-yourself-er, or believed to have enough money to fund themselves, or thought to not have good enough works to be backed by agents and publishers.  Well, news flash for me, they can also be regular people with not a lot of money who have stories to tell that are just different than what the average, main stream agent is looking for.  Thanks to companies like Amazon Kindle Direct Publishing, regular people like me can share my stories with the world.  I cannot thank Amazon and CreateSpace enough.  If it weren’t for companies like them, the growing number of Indie authors like me would still be struggling to find a ‘way in’.  While these companies make it possible to self-publish, they can’t supply the personal hard work, time, patience, and talent it takes to become a self-published author.  Kudos to all my fellow Indie authors!

If you enjoyed Tessa Collins and The Small Town Thief on your eReader, or haven’t had a chance to read this exciting detective story, you can buy the hard cover today for only $4.99!

Thank you to my fans.  I love that you love my stories.  Stay tuned for BIG news coming up!